Get her words out..

Lately it seems as though I've had the worst time trying to get my words out. I don't know exactly what has been keeping them in aside from a fear of some people reading my poorly blog or maybe the fear of letting everything go and allowing just the slight inkling of a possibility that someone, anyone will read or see how I view things. Mania... that's what it is..

Well, I found song lyrics. My most resourceful tool for trying to find a way to express how I feel. Music moves me in so many ways and I firmly believe almost every aspect of my life could be detailed by a variety of songs. Right now, this moment, this one as the sun shines in the front door as a light has just turned on (the brightness of the sun scared me.... I was a bit nervous someone had walked in the front door.... ahh)

Someday, when I'm older
And they never know my name
Somehow, if I'm honest
I can never feel ashamed
Maybe I was wrong to
Hold you up so high
Now I know I've lost you
To the feelings I kept inside
I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here,
the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page,
you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
Someday, when it's over
And you never show your face
I hope you'll remember
How I tried to make you a place
And so now, I move on
To keep my piece of mind
In someway, I've failed you
But I just ran out of time
I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here,
the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page,
you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
I'm not sure that you hear me
I'm not sure that you look at me
the sameI will always be attached to you
But I'm never gonna feel the same
I don't know if it felt likeI wanted you here,
the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page,
you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
No, you never took the time
Someday, when I'm older...


So until I can find rhyme and reason to why this charade continues.....